Misc

Best Comments in Source Code Ever

This article lists some of the best comments ever encountered in source code taken from a very famous StackOverflow thread. The question was asked in 2008 and gained immense popularity, but it was pulled from the site by some moderator with a misplaced sense of abidance by rules. However, it has been made public again (in locked mode) due to popular demand.

1 2	// When I wrote this, only God and I understood what I was doing // Now, God only knows

* For the brave souls who get this far: You are the chosen ones,

* the valiant knights of programming who toil away, without rest,

* fixing our most awful code. To you, true saviors, kings of men,

* I say this: never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down,

* never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry,

* never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

// I dedicate all this code, all my work, to my wife, Darlene, who will

// have to support me and our three children and the dog once it gets

// released into the public.

* Dear maintainer:

* Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine,

* and have realized what a terrible mistake that was,

* please increment the following counter as a warning

* to the next guy:

* total_hours_wasted_here = 42

* You may think you know what the following code does.

* But you dont. Trust me.

* Fiddle with it, and youll spend many a sleepless

* night cursing the moment you thought youd be clever

* enough to "optimize" the code below.

* Now close this file and go play with something else.

Catch (Exception e) {

// who cares?

}

# To understand recursion, see the bottom of this file

At the bottom of the file:

# To understand recursion, see the top of this file

1	/* You are not meant to understand this */

From the 2004 Windows leak,

__inline BOOL

SearchOneDirectory(

IN LPSTR Directory,

IN LPSTR FileToFind,

IN LPSTR SourceFullName,

IN LPSTR SourceFilePart,

OUT PBOOL FoundInTree

)

{

// This was way too slow. Just say we didn't find the file.

*FoundInTree = FALSE;

return(TRUE);

}

1 2	// If you're reading this, that means you have been put in charge of my // previous project. I am so, so sorry for you. God speed.

1	// Remove this if you wanna be fired

1	// For the sins I am about to commit, may James Gosling forgive me

// Constructs a tuple with 2 elements (fucking idiot, use std::pair instead!)

template <typename T0,typename T1>

inline tuple <T0,T1> make_tuple (const T0& t0, const T1& t1)

{

tuple <T0,T1> t;

t.get<0>() = t0;

t.get<1>() = t1;

return t;

}

1 2	Exception up = new Exception("Something is really wrong."); throw up; // ha ha

1	// Autogenerated, do not edit. All changes will be undone.

// 3.4 JeK My manager promised me a lap dance if I can fix this release

// 3.5 JeK Still waiting for that dance from my manager

// 3.6 JeK My manager got changed, the new manager is hairy, dont want the dance anymore

// 3.7 Jek Got that dance, yuck!

1	// sometimes I believe compiler ignores all my comments

1	// drunk, fix later

1	// Abandon all hope ye who enter beyond this point

1	// Below code will make compiler blush

1 2	// Dear future me. Please forgive me. // I can't even begin to express how sorry I am.

1	// Magic. Do not touch.

1	/* Please work */

1 2	#define TRUE FALSE // Happy debugging suckers

This is followed by four nested for-loops

1	/* This is O(scary), but seems quick enough in practice. */

1	// I am not sure if we need this, but too scared to delete.

1	// I am not sure why this works but it fixes the problem.

1	// Catching exceptions is for communists

1	// THIS PROGRAM HAS CODE THAT DOES NOT MEET STANDARDS

1	// If you're reading this, then my program is probably a success

1	// This code worked before, but my cat decided to take a trip across my keyboard...

1	long long ago; /* in a galaxy far far away */

1	/////////////////////////////////////// this is a well commented line

1	double penetration; // ouch

1	long john; // silver

From source code of some chinese website,

// The company pays no bonus - forgot about it dude. Don't come!

// I'm ready to leave. This project contains huge amount of "bugs",

// you won't stand long. Bye, best luck!

// This is black magic

// from some stackoverflow link

// Don't play with magic, it can BITE.

1 2	/* My compiler does anything i ask for. Wanna see ? Dear compiler, Please ignore this statement. */

1	using namespace std; /* So Sue me for this ;) */

1	/* If this code works then Paul wrote this otherwise, I don’t know who wrote this. */

/* Well this method surely returns the random number.

Chosen by a fairly rolen dice. */

int getRandom() {

return 4;

}

try {

}

catch (SQLException ex) {

// Basically, without saying too much, you’re screwed. Royally and totally.

}

1	// I can’t even begin to express how sorry I am.

1	// I'm not paid for this...

1 2	// I am not responsible of this code. // They made me write it, against my will.

/* *

* Always returns true.

public boolean isAvailable() {

return false;

}

1	virgin = 0; /* you're not a virgin anymore, sweety */

1	// $you = live("free") or die("hard");

1	return true; // true my ass! this doesn't work

Final comment, courtesy of James Gosling himself:

/* ***************************************************************

**************

* BEWARE!! *

**************

All ye who enter here:

Most of the code in this module

is twisted beyond belief!

Tread carefully.

If you think you understand it,

You Don't,

So Look Again.

*************************************************************** */

Do share with us if you encounter any hilarious comments in your code base.

Thanks for reading.

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Best Comments in Source Code Ever

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